why?

..thats literally all i’ve been thinking lately…

why am i doing this? why am i packing my whole life up and moving.. 1.590 miles away? why do i want to tell bye to these beautiful people whom i love and love me? why do i want to put myself in that awkward position of not knowing anyone all over again? why do i want to move away and pay rent when i loved my bed at home? why do i want to go to this place to merely study to pass a test that just gets me to more places i have to study? why do i want to do this to my self? why? this is super hard and its hard to realize. its hard to grasp it. i know “it’ll all be okay” and that “time heals” and that i’ll find “new friends” but leaving this now isn’t easy. but i guess i have to be  okay with that. because it means I’ve made time count. i’ve had something worth missing. it means i have lived. that i am still living. and that im going to continue to live. that i will form not new friends and experiences, but additional ones. i guess that’s why.. i guess have more things i need to see, more people i need to learn from, more experiences i need to have.. i guess this is growing up 




*irrational rant over*

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